


Okaeri

by Akaicchi



Series: Mukidashite: Bare (Your Teeth) [1]
Category: Persona 4, Persona Series, Shin Megami Tensei Series
Genre: Complicated Relationships, Five Years Later, M/M, Mukidashite Verse, POV First Person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-09
Updated: 2017-04-14
Packaged: 2018-10-16 14:56:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 15,567
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10573614
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Akaicchi/pseuds/Akaicchi
Summary: Set about five years after Persona 4. Adachi is getting out of jail and everyone processes things at their own pace. Or not at all.Can be read as a standalone or as the first part to Mukidashite.





	1. A Game of Telephone (Nanako)

**Author's Note:**

> If you've never heard the term, "okaeri" means "welcome home". Traditionally said when someone in the family announces that they have arrived through the door.
> 
> My editor (husband) asked me to include his blurb: "Relatable if you're a gay psychopathic detective."
> 
> Thanks for your interest!
> 
> A related art piece by [Taffyshark](https://pine-guards.tumblr.com/post/168189254986/shes-my-collar-highly-inspired-by)!!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nanako brings the reader up to speed while chatting with Yuu and Kanji.

Chapter One: A Game of Telephone

(Nanako)

"Big Bro," I whispered over the phone line.

"Yeah?" I hear his reply. "What is it Nanako-chan? Why the whispers?"

"Mmh." I kick into my shoes and head out the door, so happy to have gotten a cell phone last year. "Okay," I tell him more loudly. "I'm out of the house now, heading to the riverbank. I needed to talk to you." I chew my lip, considering how to break this next part to him.

He waits silently for me to go on.

I sigh. _I need to say it aloud to someone._ "It's finally happening. Dad got Adachi-san's sentence commuted to house arrest."

He's shocked into silence. He and the others never thought that Dad would get this far. The others visited Adachi once or twice but found closure and moved on, happy he was locked away.

Here's the part he’ll really hate. "And you know it's going to be our house, right? Dad really never gave up."

"...Oh." I can hear that Yuu-kun's processing my words, wrestling with assuring me it’s going to be okay, but needing to dive right into questions.

"Just ask," I shake my head.

I hear a short grunt of relief from him as the same old story spills from his lips. "It's been five years now, and you still can't remember? He was really always nice to you? I couldn't stand him. Last time I went to the prison, Adachi was as bad as usual.  Have you—" He breaks off, probably worried how I'll feel. "Have you been with your dad to the prison?"

_I guess I'll start from the beginning…_

"No I don't remember, and I liked it when he came over and played with me. I never noticed anything was wrong." I can't recall any of it. Just blurry memories of dinners with Dad, Yuu-kun, and Adachi. "Then Teddie kept asking questions about jail, and I started questioning where Adachi-san went and why all of you didn't like him."

I tuck my hair behind my ear, filling in the usual answers. It  _has_  been so long, and since my literal kidnapper wasn't anyone I even knew, I've been soft on the man I do remember.

"It's because I only have the good memories,” I conclude aloud. I stare at the river, stepping closer to watch the fish darting beneath the water's surface. "And you know how Dad's been through all of this. He took such a short time to process it, the details don't seem to matter to him."

"Yes," Yuu-kun agrees. "It seems Uncle thinks he can 'fix' him. That's part of what worries me."

"And I have been a few times. Adachi looks terrible. He's skinny like a skeleton and much quieter."

_Then there was the thing—_

_The thing I can't explain..._

_How I fixed his broken finger._

I push the incident out of my mind, instead mentioning Adachi's smile. "He can't smile. He tried a few times, but it looked empty and sad. It wasn't like the easy, friendly ones he used to have so many of." Adachi had said a few quick words and then kept on smiling while he listened, hunched over in his chair. I could feel him looking at me through his long bangs, but couldn't see his eyes.

"I don't think the medications are right. Dad’s only let me go recently, since the latest change, and he doesn't seem like himself at all." I can feel tears coming. I had never seen anyone who looked so broken before. "I expected it to be different, but not as much."

"I'm sorry, Nanako," Yuu-kun worries. "I thought he'd be out of our lives by now. He's not right..."

"Why can't the old him come back?" I could feel myself whine that part out.

"He... He has problems. Adachi's..." Yuu-kun hesitates again. "He isn't how you remember him." Big Bro finished college. Now he's working to become a doctor. After all the people he helped in Inaba, and watching the change in Adachi, he's been compelled to help more people in a visible way _. I'm really proud of him._

"Can that be fixed?"

"...And he's always seemed sociopathic to me..." Yuu-kun mumbles this part more to himself. "If they've been treating his problems, it could be okay. It's not something you 'fix', though. It's more that you learn to live with it properly. It's a possibility." I can tell Big Bro is trying to convince himself more than me. "There's a continuing treatment plan, right?"

I pace around, trying to remember the details. "Dad came home with a lot of packets; I think one is about that. He told me that doctors would come over and he would make sure Adachi-san takes all his pills." I consider keeping the second part to myself, but I'm sure Big Bro will find out anyways.

"Were also supposed to start out acting really calm around him. We're not supposed to do anything that'll make him feel panicky or excited. That's when he has outbursts."

Yuu-kun chews it all over in a minute of silence. "When's he being released?"

"At the end of the month—The last Friday." I check my watch: a little over a week.

I can hear Yuu-kun rummaging around for his planner. "You want me to come down? I could at least stay for the weekend. I'm sure I could get Yukiko to save me a room."

That would be a relief. "Yes," I answer him confidently. "That'd be nice." I can feel his warm smile through the phone as we say our goodbyes.

\---***---

It's the end of the week now, and I know Dad took the long trip to the prison after work. I told him I would come, but he said I didn't have to. He keeps saying he's asking enough already, that he doesn't want to drag me away from my free time and friends.

Walking back to our house through town, I notice Kanji is keeping the shop open late again. Kanji still stops by and hangs out with us often. I stayed closest with him and Teddie because they were always around. They didn't go to college— _Teddie_ never went to school at all.

Teddie started living with Kanji and his mom when Yosuke went off to college. I think he's happier now. Kanji always praises his effort and Tatsumi-sama seems to adore the strange bear-boy. I don't really understand where he came from, but it doesn't matter as long as he's here.

Rise and her friends call me every few weeks. I like talking to them, too. They're really busy but I appreciate how they always make time. And Yukiko stops by with food. Her cooking's gotten really good over the years.

Naoto, Chie, and Yosuke all live away now, but Big Bro likes to get everyone together once a year. They’re all so happy to see each other. Last I heard, they're still in Tokyo.

I walk up to the old style door of Tatsumi Textiles and call out as I push it open.

"Nana-chan!" Teddie chirps as he skips over, carrying a messy-looking shirt. "Look what I finished today! I can put it on this time!"

Kanji trudges out of the back room after him, shaking his head. "It ain't great, but at least he didn't keep tangling the thread into knots this time. I hate fixing that old machine!"

I smile widely at Teddie's latest project, happy to see him enjoying learning. "It looks great!"

"I know~!" Teddie shrieks, twirling around and bounding off to show Tatsumi-sama.

"So what's up Nanako?" Kanji asks, plopping down at the work table and motioning for me to join him. He pours us some iced tea and waits to see if I have anything on my mind. _Ever since Kanji started accepting himself better, he's been a lot more relaxed. It's nice; it makes him easy to talk to._

I sip the cool tea and wish that Kanji would spring for an air conditioner this year. I don't know how he can handle physical work in the summer heat.

After I've drained the glass, I slide it towards him for seconds and start to work my way around explaining Adachi's release. "Have you talked to Big Bro lately?" I ask, crossing my fingers that Yuu-kun already broached the topic.

"No," Kanji shakes his head. "Why? He do something cool?"

Of course he doesn't know, I lament. He would've been banging our door down till Dad reconsidered. He'll probably be livid.

I shake my head. "It's about Adachi-san."

"Yeah?" Kanji snorts. "What'd that prick do now? Did someone finally get him?" Kanji mimes strangling. I wince and shrug, telling him no. "He has to be messing with people. We know he gets off on being manipulative..."

Kanji's voice fades away for a moment as I think back. "Oddly enough, I've heard no one's messed with Adachi. You'd think someone so skinny—and Dad says ex-cops have it worse—would've taken a few beatings, but nothing," I tell him. He's still going on, though. I guess it's out with it.

"It's about the commutation," I spit out.

"...I still think he killed that guy they found in the toilets from his block back in—” Kanji stops suddenly. "Wait, _what_? Why would they do that? That can't be right." He shakes his head, lost.

"It was Dad," I sigh. "I didn't tell you before because Big Bro said you'd get really angry, but he used some of Adachi-san's money to hire a lawyer to work on getting him out quicker."

Kanji brings his fist down hard, shaking the heavy table. "When?!" he breathes.

"Um," I reply, unsure which question to answer. "This was a couple years ago, and he's getting released in about a week."

Kanji's face glows red. "A week?! And you're telling me now? Aurgh!!" he howls, banging the table a few more times. I shift in my seat, waiting until he calms down again.

When he seems receptive to talking, I drop the truth I didn't want to tell Yuu-kun. "I don't know how I should feel about this."

" _Angry!_ " Kanji yells.

I roll my eyes. "You know all I can remember is him being nice to me." Kanji grunts and nods. "And Dad's so... Happy? I think it's happy. Not quite excited, but he seems better. Just let me sort my feelings. I think it'll be fine, really.”

Kanji’s already jumping subjects though, leaning back and tipping his chair to listen for the others. After a beat of nothing, confirming them to be somewhere in the attached house and out of earshot, Kanji confides in me his own secret. "I'm not surprised," he admits and immediately gulps some tea to bide for time. I stare expectantly while he fidgets. "I always got the feeling they were into each other."

"You're not the first one to tell me that. Don't worry," I reassure him. "I don't care about that. I don't know—I just liked having more people around." It was especially lonely right after Big Bro left. That's when Kanji became our new go-to friend.

Kanji waits while I gather the different strings of memory together. "Adachi-san sure was around a lot. He'd help me cook on weekends for a while. I liked that."

I stare out he window at the people walking home or picking up dinner. "He's so different now."

"Well _yeah_ ," Kanji blurts. "Now he's a murderer."

I grip my glass and bite back the catch in my throat. "He doesn't look good. I told Bro—He's so skinny, like he doesn't eat. His hair's all floppy in front of his face. And he's quiet and still...! I feel like he's not really looking at me. He talks, but he's just not himself."

_Oh, I can feel the tears coming— I can't stop talking—_

"Last time, they put us all at a table—on different sides. Dad was so animated and I could tell he was trying to act happy so me and Adachi-san felt more comfortable, but it only made it so much more obvious that Adachi is missing pieces of himself. When Dad clapped him on the shoulder on our way out, I was worried his arm would fall off or something—and I just don't know!" The last part was punctuated with a crack in my voice.

Tears are sliding down my face. "I'm worried a broken Adachi will be worse than starting over with no Adachi, even if it means Dad's so sad again." When I look up from my hands, I see Kanji kneeling next to me now. He silently rubs my back, letting me have my tantrum. "It's so selfish of me."

"No!" he barks, sounding really sure. Then tries again more gently. "Ah— _no_. It's not. It's your opinion and it matters. You've always been mature." He stands back up and rests on the wall. "You probably have the more level head, between you and your dad, y'know."

I lean over and hug Kanji. Everybody always used to act like he was dangerous, but Big Bro helped bring out his kind side. "I'm glad I got to talk to you," I whisper.

"Yeah, yeah," he shifts, patting my back. "Come and see my mom, it'll make you feel better. You can always come talk to us." Kanji places a guiding hand on my back, shuffling me into the main house with Tatsumi-sama, Teddie, laughter, and life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Re-Edited 5/29/17


	2. Good Cop/Bad Cop (Tohru)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adachi's first chapter! He's a lot of fun to write. Still crazy and insecure. Here we take a look at what he's been up to.

Chapter Two: Good Cop/Bad Cop

(Tohru)

_Dojima's here again._

_He told me over the phone I'm getting out._ My lips twitch into a grin that I try to suppress. _Need to look ‘better’._

We're sitting at a small table in a room full of people again _. Can't he get them to let us go somewhere quieter? I wish their useless voices would shut up so I could hear the details better._

Dojima's going on about the ankle bracelet now. _Boring. I'll just get it off._

I glance down: my shoes barely tie shut. There's no way they make one small enough. Which reminds me that I need to keep more food down. It's a plus, looking defenseless and aggravating the people who think they're in charge, but I need more energy.

I look up through my messy hair at Dojima. He keeps folding and unfolding his hands, like he can't talk if they're too still. He'll get upset if I reach out.

So I do. I place one of my thin hands over his when he starts to unfold them again.

"...Adachi." He looks sad. Dojima's been so lenient since he started coming here. I usually can't irritate him, which irritates _me_. "You need to take your hand back. We should look professional," he says in that tired voice. So I squeeze his hand instead.

I can see Dojima holding back a frown. _Just yell at me like you used to—_

He takes my hand and puts it back on my side of the table, like I'm some kind of child. "You're coming home with me. It'll be alright."

_I didn't need comfort, idiot._

He smiles tentatively. I push more. I put my hand back and won't let go this time. I can tell my eyes are staring too much. _All the other useless people can tell my eyes are laughing at them. Why can't he?_

"One of the other murderers told me I have crazy eyes. I told him the voices appreciate the compliment. Then I threatened him with ghosts. Fucking idiot almost pissed himself."

_Why don't my eyes scare him?_

Dojima's going red, still trying to pry me off. I saw him wince when I said ‘other murderers’. _He has to be pretending everything's fine; because it can't be. I won't blend in again._

"Adachi—” I start squeezing his hand. " _Jeez that hurts!_ " He didn't know how strong I was. If he's really fine with the way I am, then I'll show him what he's been missing.

"You know I'm not sorry." I hear it come out of me as a hiss. 

"Yes, I _know_ —” Dojima. _Placating._

"You can't still want me." 

Dojima's eyeing the guard in the other side of the room. He's starting to panic. "Yes, I do. Now move your hand, please."

_What the fuck? I got a 'please'?!_

"Yell at me." I glare at Dojima, staring him down.

" _No_ ," he snaps. "You need to get off." 

I smirk.

"I can't." Dojima grits his teeth. He's sweating. "Feel my fingers, Adachi." 

"Call me Tohru, fuckup," I demand.

" _Tohru_ —" He gasps.

I unclamp immediately. "What, am _I_ in charge now?" I lean forward over the table, pressing my luck with the guards.

"Read the papers." Dojima shoves the folder across the table. At least he looks hurt. _Not as good as angry, but I guess that's what separates us in here from them out there._

"I know," I roll my eyes. I count off the conditions in singsong. "I can't leave the property unless I get the tracker off, I can't drink, I get the extra room, and I can't talk to Nanako about the kidnapping. Not even apologize." I look down. _Do I look like it bothers me?_

"I thought you _'weren't sorry'_ ," Dojima challenges me, raising his eyebrows.

"I'm not sorry about the murders. I'm not sorry about the chaos. I'm not sorry about lying. I'm not sorry about tricking Namatame. I'm _only_ —" and I emphasize that word stretching is out. " _Only_  sorry that Nanako got involved."

He didn't catch that part about the bracelet.

Dojima rolls his own eyes and checks his watch. "Bring it up with one of the therapists. I don't have time for this. You really want to spend the whole visit arguing." It's not a question.

I widen my eyes, lean back; really put on a show. "What else do we even do?"

He won't meet my eyes again. He's trying not to think about it. I can feel another smile creeping _. What a day!_

He sees the smile. "Adachi." _Warning._

"Well what else do we do?" I give a showy shrug, sitting up straighter. _Our relationship wasn't really a relationship until we had to do all this talking. I thought it'd be more fun with him around. I love winding him up till he loses his temper. That's a turn-on._

"Adachi I will go home this time if you put me through another scene like that. I work with some of these people!"

So did I. "Hmm," I start. "The last time was at the hospital before I told you I was the killer. And since then it's been..." I start ticking off months on my fingers.

"Five years!" Dojima breaks in. I throw my fingers all in the air, about to tell him he wins the prize, but he rushes on. "We just have to get along and not kill each other for five years."

_Oh. For the new sentence._

"I wouldn't kill you." _Shit. I think I mean that._

" _Charming._ " He just keeps his You're-an-Idiot-Adachi face plastered on. I do like that one. I lean over my half of the table, hoping I loom. He thinks I forgot about riling him up.

He pushes my face away. "One. More. Week. Of this. _Behave for one week!_ "  

"And you think you _like_ the real me," I leer.

" _Shut up, Adachi!_ "

_...And I win!!_

Dojima slaps one of his large hands against his forehead, exasperated.

The buzzer goes off. All the plebs have to leave now, while the rest of us get herded back to the cages. After a long, quiet look at me, Dojima rises, wordless, to head towards the door. I point to a guy two tables over. "Even the rapist gets a hug!" Glares. _Lots_ of 'em.

Dojima looks troubled. You can see it in the way his eyebrows practically touch and he's trying to keep his mouth shut. He says I shouldn't mess with the other prisoners. He turns around and walks away.

"Love yah, sexy!" I holler to be heard over the noise. I swear the room stops. Okay, maybe I haven't gone that far before. I get sick of all these scary, scary men trying to act like the straightest bunch. As a bonus, you can hear Dojima's heart getting ready to explode, the vein about to burst out of his forehead. He doesn't look back. When he's out the door, I hear the rapist call me a faggot. I can feel my mouth curling into another smirk.

At least now I know who's next. I tilt my head exaggeratedly. "You catch that?" I loudly ask the ceiling. My 'neighbors' won't even look at me, but morons from the other blocks aren't afraid of me. Unfortunate for them.

I _love_ a show. And it's not really a ghost...

_It's something worse._

\---***---

Back in my cell, I dig the mess of papers out of my pants. Few places people won't go, and no one's happy I get to leave. _Jealous._

Never thought I'd like somewhere less than Inaba.

Never thought I'd like Inaba—Period.

But if I could go back to the better days, I could maybe be okay.

_Me, Dojima, Nanako._

_Me, Ryoutarou, Nanako._

_Me, Ryou..._

Deep breaths. 

_I can do this._

By the time I realize I've crumpled the papers, well, it's done. I unclench my fists and smooth them out on my bed.

Rules.

Schedules.

A list of things that didn't sell— _Who wants to buy the murderer's bed? Couch? Refrigerator?_  I can just picture Dojima having a yard sale and no one stopping.

Copies of the stuff I have to sign so I can not-read them.

A letter with the niceties I won't let him say.

I try not to read them. I'm not worth it.

But I stick the letter under the mattress and shove the rest of the papers behind the television. _They'll all get taken, what's it matter?_

_Do I hope no one or everyone knows that I'm back?_

_Why do I care?_

\---***---

"Come drink at my apartment. I bought beer!" That was all it ever took to get Dojima to come over. God he was sad back then. Either working or obsessing over the accident.

Seeing the mess his memories made of his life... _I could give him something better to obsess over._

Liquor meant lapses in judgment. Liquor gave me an opportunity to be more of myself while blaming it on being drunk. Liquor gave Dojima something to blame his over-affectionate side on.

I needed someone to pay attention to me.

_Yell at me. Rough me up. Crush me so I forget how awful this world is. I always return the favor threefold._

\---***---

The TVs here are all small, but now so am I. After lights out I claw my way inside.

It's pathetic but the only room I could think to conjure was the Dojimas’ living room. 

_Nights aren't so bad._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: Re-Edited 5/29/17


	3. Runaway Train (Kanji)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kanji's first chapter! He does some legwork for Nanako and reflects on how the small town treats the former cop, as well as his relationship with Dojima. Yukiko also makes a quick appearance.

Chapter Three: Runaway Train

(Kanji)

_I'm restless._

I've been delivering orders all day, which is good busywork, but I still can't keep my mind off the Dojimas.

_I should've brought Teddie along._

He's good at talking me down, and I'm itching to drive over to the police station. Talk to Ojisan. Get it over with.

_He and Nanako don't really talk to each other. They never did until whatever problem exploded. Trying to get them to open up to each other would be a real battle of the wills..._

I have time to pick up lunch before Ted and Ma expect me back. I could go over to the station and be back to the store in no time.

Making up my mind, I climb into my SUV and motor to the police station. Nothing's really out of the way in a town like Inaba. It's what I've always both loved and hated at the same time.

I park in the small visitor lot and walk up to the door. It's weird going to the police station of my own accord; instead of how I used to get dragged in. It's kind of uncomfortable.

I open the door and step up to the front desk. "Hi, my name is—" I start, but the receptionist cuts me off.

"Kanji, we all know you," she laughs.

I scratch the back of my head and laugh a little too high. "Y-yeah. I used to cause some trouble. Sorry 'bout that."

She shrugs like it's never been an issue. "So what can we do for you?"

"Is Dojima-san around?" I ask, trying to peek down to his office.

She shakes her head. "Not right now, but I can take a message if you'd like, she trails off, brandishing a pen and notepad.

"Uh, yeah. Yeah that sounds good." I nod eagerly, a little thrown off that he's not actually in after I got myself all fired up to confront him.

She writes my name and asks what my drop-in is concerning. "Oh." I pause. "P-personal business," I tell her. "Is that okay?"

"Sure," she says, finishing up the memo and tossing it into his mailbox. "What's going on with him these days?" The older lady inquires. "He doesn't talk much and everyone's been worried since _'you know who'_ went to jail... He never swung back to normal, especially since— _you know_." I struggle not to roll my eyes at the air quotes and the gossipy way she’s fishing.

I inwardly grown, keeping my smile plastered on so the people here keep me in the loop.

_This always happens._

People, especially at the station, act like it's taboo to even mention Adachi's name. "Ye—Yeah," I bite off. "I know everyone's been worried. And it's been a few years, too." I shuffle my feet. I'm not good at digging for information.

_—But then a light bulb goes off. I can feel that part of my brain light up._

_...They don't know, do they?_

"Any news?" I try to casually slip in, testing the waters.

"I haven't heard anything since that one fight."

 _What?_ "Fight? When was that? I heard he's,” I wave my hand around. “You know—behaved."

"Oh," she thinks, trying to remember _this_ piece of juicy gossip. "Right at the beginning, I believe. It never got reported in he papers, but these things usually don't." She rests her chin on her hands, pretending to sound sad.

"What exactly happened?" I press. _This is news. Nanako doesn't know this, at least._

She says it so plainly, as if it happened to someone  she never knew; someone she didn't eat lunch with or get coffee from. "Beaten and abused by some guards." I feel my eyebrows narrowing and I try to relax my face. She glances around. I feel myself wince. No wonder Dojima was so intent on breaking him out. "And here's the weird part. It didn't get broken up or anything, but the guards stopped on their own—All just walked away."

I nod. _That is weird._ I thank the receptionist and head back outside.

My mind still turning over what I heard, I realize things aren't lining up.

1) Nanako said there were no incidents.

2) There was one bad incident.

3) After that, it's been at least four more years and not one more?

I still think Toilet Man could be a victim. It's the fact that he was sliced and then drowned. It sounds like torture. And we know who likes to torture his enemies.

Back in my car, I take out my phone and call Yukiko-chan. It rings a few times and then I get a sleepy response.

"What?" I hear.

"Yuki-chan! Sleeping on the job?" I joke. There's silence. "Oi! D-don't go back to sleep! I need to talk to you."

I hear her bring the phone back to her ear. "What is it, Kanji-kun?" She asks. "I haven't heard from you since our order a while back."

"I don't know where to start... Have you talked to Nanako or Yuu-kun lately? I know you stop by Nanako's sometimes." I ask, bringing my car around the station to head back to the shop.

"No... Not in a few weeks. Is everything okay?" Yukiko sounds a little concerned and a bit more awake.

"Yeah." I nod even though she can't see me. "For now at least. But they're letting Adachi out in a week—"

I can't finish before she interrupts. "Oh no! That's terrible. What are we going to do?"

"If you'd let me finish," I grunt, "It gets a little worse. It's not out-out. They're community his sentence. He'll be under house arrest and living with the Dojimas."

"SNERK!" Yuki-chan's started one of her laughing fits. _I don't have time for this._

"Hey be serious! What's so funny?"

"It's _'commuting'_ , Kanji-kun," she replies. "Not 'community'."

"Well at least someone can laugh," I retort, feeling my face getting hot again. Everyone said I would grow out of this; I hate feeling myself get embarrassed. Makes it worse.

Yukiko-chan huffs loudly into the phone and I have to yank it away from my ear. "I don't like it."

"Tell me something I don't know!" I hesitate. "I could be wrong, but I think there's still something up with Adachi. Nanako says he doesn't seem right—Not that that nutbag was ever right—And I heard of a few incidents. I wanna make sure he's just human-monster-Adachi and not shadow-monster-Adachi."

"What do you mean, Kanji-kun? Do you think he still has something left of his power?"

I itch at my neck again. "Maybe. I just think we should look into it. Nanako didn't ask me to do anything specific, but I'd feel better knowing what kind of shape he was coming back here in."

"Oh!" Yuki-chan interjects. "Yuu-kun's coming. In maybe a week! He booked a room."

"Yeah?" I ask.

"Nnh. Now I get it. That's when Adachi gets out, isn't it?"

"I'm willing to bet—Oh!!" I slam on he brakes, thanking whatever god is listening there's no one behind me. "I see Dojima coming out of the bakery. Gotta go!"

I hang up before she can reply.

Slowing down by the side of the road near Dojima, I roll down the window. " _Oi!_  Ojisan!" I holler.

Dojima turns his head, sees me, and waits for me to pull forward. I put the car in park next to him, forming a plan. "I got kettlebells recently. How about I bring them over tomorrow. You off this Sunday?" _You never know with a cop if they're gonna get pulled in for patrol._

He leans in the window to blow smoke in my face. "What the hell is that?"

"Gross!" I fan it away, coughing. "Some kinda European weight. They're popular. I see them online a lot and wanted to try it. We haven't worked out together in a while."

Dojima nods thoughtfully. "Sure. Stay and have breakfast with us after. I could stand to try something new."

\---***---

I started working out with Dojima so he had something to do. It didn't change my routine to add a person, and it was lonely after Yuu-kun left. It's also how I confirmed my hunch about Adachi.

So there we were: the summer after everything played out, in Dojima’s converted basement in the middle of a friggin heat wave and using the weight bench. I was counting off and wondering if you could get heatstroke indoors.

Dojima was looking at me so seriously, so I waved my hands in front of his face. "You paying attention, dammit?"

"Yes," he nodded immediately. _Yeah right._

"If you have a question, spit it out," I grumbled.

Still deadpan, he opened his mouth, then closed it and reached for water.

"Yes or no?" I sighed.

" _Okay._ " He thumped the bottle back down. "Do you have trouble telling men how you feel about them when other people could be listening?"

"What the hell?!" I lost it and kicked the weight bench. " _I'm not gay!_ "

Eyes looking more unsure, Dojima just pointed towards the back of the house. "I saw you in the back yard, confessing to the Junes boy last year."

"Eww, no! Gross!! That was Yuu-kun!" I howled.

He smirked. "My mistake."

_Liar. And then I was caught._

I kicked the expensive weight bench again for good measure. "Look, it's hard telling anybody how you feel when there are other people around, dammit." He grabbed for his water again, looking thoughtful. "I like women, too." I added, still agitated about my own shadow. "Not just men."

Dojima shook his heard, really hard, flicking sweat all over. I threw one of the towels at him. "Don't get uptight. I don't care about any of that."

_Yeah, just didn't wanna go out on a limb and be the only one? Nice. Thanks..._

"Here's a tip." He looked up at me so innocently I had to make a joke. "Get a haircut before you go back to work, Ojisan, you look like a gangster."

"Am I really at 'ojisan age' already?"

He just rolled his eyes and went back to the bench to do his next set. This was as close to a real conversation as we'd ever gotten. The obvious quesiton would probably ruin it, I worried, but tried, anyhow. "So, uh, does that mean before you start work again, are you gonna go up to, uhm, the Tokyo area?"

Not looking at me: "I didn't ask for a particular reason."

_Of course not. Because you haven't always been so obvious._

I wiped my forehead and sighed. Then went back to counting his reps aloud.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Re-Edited 6/7/17


	4. Love Will Tear Us Apart (Ryoutarou)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is Doujima's only chapter this time, but I find this one the funniest, though. He's surprisingly not a central character in a story about his own relationship. Happens... And I actually did a pattern where it goes Nanako, Adachi, Kanji, Doujima, Kanji, Adachi, Nanako--Which I thought was cool, but my husband didn't even notice...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I also wanted to quickly speak to the name of the series, Mukidashite. I listened to a lot of Yazawa while writing this story, especially the song "Loser". That one felt like the appropriate background music, to me. The term mukidashite comes from "Tomaranai Ha~ha". I had written the word down to look it up--in the same notebook as the story--and then ended up referring to it as Mukidashite. I really like how it means "bare", but the dictionary felt the need to include that it's "bare" as in "bare your teeth". It just felt right for Adachi, and "Loser" also talks about baring your teeth/fangs a bit.  
> Lastly, doesn't Dojima seem like a Yazawa man? I feel like he'd appreciate older Japanese rock. :D

Chapter Four: Love Will Tear Us Apart

(Ryoutarou)

 

I stub out my cigarette as I watch Kanji drive away.

_I like that kid more and more as he matures. He was such a pain in the ass when he was younger, but he's been real good to Nanako and me._

After Adachi got put away and Yuu moved out, I needed something to do with all the free time.—Something to take my mind off things. Kanji suggested I try working out again. I hadn't lifted weights since I was much younger, but being fit can't hurt in my line of work.

During his senior year, Kanji came over every day before school and we got a routine going. Jogging or biking, with weights and stretching. He's much more patient than I had expected. And he's a good teacher when he's knowledgeable; it makes him more confident.

After he graduated, though, he said he needed mornings to himself to take care of whatever needed doing. He's more or less in charge of the textile shop, meting out smaller jobs to his mom and Teddie. Nanako’s there a lot, but he and I only catch up these days when he wants to show off some new fad. Last year he was into crossfit. I can feel myself laughing at the memory— _That sure didn't last!_

I stub out my cigarette against the sole of my shoe and keep walking in the direction of the station. I've only got a few hours before I can take off. Things have been easier at work since I cut back my hours. I like spending the extra time with Nanako, and then there're my visits up to the prison.

Things are changing again. I think it's for the better, but I never seem to know what I'm getting myself into. I clear my head as I tug open the back door to the Inaba branch. _As long as Nanako's okay with Adachi living with us, I'm not afraid to do what I want anymore._

I make a beeline for the break room: coffee. The Chief must have seen me walk past his office because he calls for me to bring my coffee in there. I groan.

_This has to be about Yamamura..._

"Chief," I grunt, sitting across from him.

He sighs and motions for me to tip the door shut. I kick it closed behind myself.

"Dojima," he stares me down.

"Sakamoto," I mimic. We were both transferred here the same year. I used to know him better before—

_Well, before everything._

He slides a paper to my side of the desk. This is my request for a week off.

 _Dammit_.

"So where are we off to?" Sakamoto asks brightening. "Taking a trip?"

 _I can play this off._ I reach for a cigarette, but think better of it and sip my coffee instead, sighing.

_That's my biggest tell: the cigarettes for the stress._

"Not quite," I shake my head. "My nephew is coming in for some days off." _Not entirely a lie. I did hear he's coming._

"Really?" he questions, savoring the word. "And this has absolutely nothing to do with you almost strangling Yamamura yesterday, huh?"

"No." _My head is pulsing._ "I just yelled at him a little. I didn't want him using my spare mug."

Sakamoto sighs, trying not to be stern. "Didn't buy your new partner a mug, and couldn't let him have the old one's?"

I drain the rest of my coffee. "No, sir. That's my spare."

Sakamoto pushes me more. "No little tie this time, either?"

I fold my hands. "I happen to know that he hates ties."

" _For fuck's sake_ , Dojima!" Sakamoto throws his hands in the air, standing. "He's wearing one today, _I saw him_!"

"Then he has his own," I grumble, plastering on a fake smile.

Sakamoto sits back down. "That's a grimace,” he quips, waving me away. "Not a smile. All these years and you still think that's how you smile? Not great growth." I frown as he  looks me in the eye. _He knows._

I surrender. "How  _much_  do you know?"

"I know the papers will claim that Adachi is being released conditionally, to serve five years house arrest and probation with a family member living south of Tokyo." I nod tentatively when he pauses. "Lies!" He barks. I roll my neck, hearing it crack and pop.

"Okay, and...?"

"His last registered address is _your_ house. And he has no family."

I rub my temples, waiting to hear the damage.

Sakamoto sighs. "I'm not telling anyone, if that's what you're thinking. But good fucking luck." I grunt over my folded arms. "I'd tell you to leave your gun at work from now on, but we all know how he built his own when we wouldn't give him one—So _that's_ a moot point."

I sigh again. "Anything else?" I take out that cigarette now.

He looks me in the eyes in a way that makes me uncomfortable. I shift in the chair. Speaking slowly, Sakamoto slowly repeats the phrase so many other people have told me countless times. " _He is not your problem._ "

I sit still in the chair, because I'm not okay with admitting why he _is_ my problem. The people you care about are your problem whether you care to accept that fact or not.

I light the cigarette. In for a penny, in for a pound, as they say. I blow smoke out of my mouth slowly, calming down before I ask this not-quite-legal favor. “On a separate note, I'm looking to acquire a stun gun. For a friend.”

Sakamoto leans on his hand. “You only have two friends. And I wouldn't want one of those in the hands of a convict or a delinquent. I assume you mean a Taser?”

I nod.

“You wouldn't be planning to put it in the hands of a ten-year-old, would you?” he probes some more.

I raise my eyebrows. “What if said  _twelve-year-old_  is a fourth-dan?”

Sakamoto considers it, narrowing his eyes. He snorts derisively. “Done. But I'll be bringing it by personally next Sunday.”

I snuff my cigarette out on the bare wood of his desk. “Done.”

\---***---

_Love doesn't disappear in a day. It doesn't grow in a day. It takes time and careful steps in both directions._

_Even though Tohru acted stranger and stranger—not to mention out-of-control and violent—I was already in too deep by then to stop loving him. I found out after everything was over._

_I couldn't cope._

_I could only lay there in the hospital, broken while the others  moved on in their own ways._

_I couldn't hate Tohru overnight—Or at all._

_It was too sudden—Too much._

_I already..._

_...Loved him._

\---***---

The first visit to the prison was the worst.

_Well, that's not quite right..._

His last visit in the hospital was a complete disaster. I don’t think that incident can be topped.

_The biggest betrayal._

First he was kind and attentive. Asking how I felt, sitting down with me, asking me what I wanted. After...

After all _that_ , there was a knock at the door. Adachi cursed and his eyes changed—In an instant his eyes changed. I leaned in to embrace him again and he pushed me away; hard. He told me the truth, glaring at me with those yellow eyes.

Then he bolted.

I don't know how long I sat there in the dark and the silence, uncomprehending.

Then Yuu rushed in with Nanako and a few of the other kids. I shifted to overwhelmingly happy; total relief at having her back. I forgot—Completely blacked it out.

I got quite the second shock when Yuu came back to brief me on the confession.

Then I remembered too much; too quickly. I started screaming.

Yuu is kind. When I woke later—I don't care to remember what happened between those two points in time—I was more rational.

It took a time before I was alright again.

And fuck Tohru. Let him wonder.

I am  _not_  telling him I had a breakdown. He'd like it too much.

It wasn't until months later, when Tohru was already serving his time, that I finally drove out to see him. He was terrible. _A real bastard._ He looked like shit and kept taunting me.

I just let him talk himself out, waiting for his tantrum to finish. He sat too far back for me to hear him well, lounging in the plastic chair like he was back in his own living room.

"Murder is such a rush!"

"How stupid are you? When I wasn't with you I was shoving people to their death!"

"You're so stupid, just drive into a lake."

"See the knock on my head? I got jumped last week. No one set the fingers, guess I can't flip anyone off anymore—"

"What?!" I finally barked back, surprising myself, even. Tohru jolted into a proper sitting position and held up his left hand meekly. Only the index finger pointed in the right direction. "Did you tell anyone?" I asked, trying to be patient with my opening.

The other man shook his head.

"I'll work it out. You're left-handed, goddammit, how do you even wipe your ass?"

That riled him up again. "Painfully, like I do everything else." His eyes flashed—straight to rage—and he bent his index finger against the glass until I heard a crunch.

" _Spiteful piece of shit!!_ " I spat and jumped out of the chair.

He let out some of that screeching, high-pitched insane laughter, leaned right against the little holes in the window, and whispered. "I knew you'd come to see me. To get the satisfaction that I'm here and you're out there and I'll never be out there again. To show me that you never needed me!"

I stomped over until my forehead conked against the glass, making him unconsciously back up. "I am not leaving you in here!" I pounded the glass and walked out.

Then I had to explain why I didn't press the emergency button when he broke his damn finger.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Re-Edited 6/7/17


	5. Airing out the Laundry (Kanji)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kanji's second chapter! He tries to help Dojima figure his shit out. Spoiler alert: he's in over his head, there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Adachi is my favorite to write as a viewpoint, but I just adore interactions between Kanji and Dojima! They both seem emotionally stunted and hate to lose. I have to say they'd make the best crack ship.  
> And please look forward to tomorrow! Adachi remembers for himself how the ball got rolling, and things come to a head!!

Chapter Five: Airing out the Laundry

(Kanji)

I drive the weights over in a crate and carry them directly to the backyard. “Mornin’,” I call through the screen door.

_I'll find an opening, I just need time. Or tact. I've never been great with either._

Dojima saunters out of the house in shorts and sandals.

“Those ain't workout clothes, Ojisan.”

“This is just another fad, right?” Dojima asks. “No slideshow this time,” he grins like a shithead.

I roll my eyes and take the crap out of the box. I line them up on the lawn and try to remember what it was I came here for.

“Coffee?” the old man asks and I nod.

When he comes back I pace the small backyard, gulping the dark, sour liquid. I don't know shit about coffee, but I like the bitterness.

“You just can't keep still today,” Dojima comments, narrowing his eyes. “Why're you really here, kid?”

“Well,” I wince. “I'm worried about you and Nanako and Yuu and everyone’s sanity and—” I finally stop and peer over at Dojima. He's staring at me blankly, sipping his coffee slowly.

“Dammit, stop squirming like you have to pee. Is this about Adachi?” His commanding tone makes me quickly nod. He runs a hand through his hair and sets down the mug. “Lately everything is. The way the bastard loves attention, he'd be so happy if he were here right now.”

I wait, suddenly unsure what to say or ask.

"You really want to do this now?" Dojima groans. "First thing in the morning? I haven't had enough coffee for this shit."

I just stand there, scuffing my sneaker in the dirt. "Uuh..."

I get lucky and he relents a little. "Okay. Look." Folding his arms, Dojima sits on the stoop and takes out a cigarette. He roots around for the lighter he keeps next to the step. "Come back for dinner. And bring that— That foreign kid. Nanako likes him. We'll talk after dinner alright?"

Dojima lights his cigarette and grumbles to himself.

"What?" I ask him, sinking down to a squat on the patio.

He sighs loudly, shooting smoke out of both his mouth and nose. "I should probably talk about this... To _someone_." He glares up at me. "Happy?" I nod quickly and he looks away. "You drink Asahi?"

I tentatively shake my head. "Not really."

He cocks an eyebrow. "Hard liquor guy?"

I shake my head again. "I... I don't really drink."

"Really?" He seems taken aback.

I shrug.

"You would if you were me." I don't have an answer for that so I keep quiet. "I guess you don't really have work outings though... So is beer okay?" I nod.

Dojima finally crushes his cigarette and tosses it into a sandy pail.

\---***---

I let Ted drive the car tonight. He can't get a license, but I don't think people care as long as he doesn't hit anyone.

“Dinner with Nanako!” Teddie sighs. “I'm so excited!” I shake my head and have to chuckle. The little guy doesn't have a care in the world.

“The King Grump will be there too,” I remind him.

“That’s fine,” Teddie giggles. “But don't let him hear you say that… I'm just happy to be around Nana-chan!” he crows.

_Now probably isn't the time to delve into this, but it's coming one of these days—_

“Hey Ted,” I try. “Maybe you shouldn't hang all over Nanako now that she's older. She might think you like her or something…”

Teddie turns to smile at me innocently. “Of course I do!”

“Nah, never mind,” I wave my hand. _I'll try again when things calm down. She's probably happy for the affection right now._ I glance right at Teddie, who's back to happily humming along to the radio.

Dinner passes quickly, with everyone catching up. As we start to finish up, the other two can tell Dojima and I want to talk. Nanako thoughtfully offers to show Ted some new manga she picked up and he looks ecstatic. After the food's gone, he wastes no time.

"Let's go, Nana-chan!" Teddie sings and grabs her hand. Nanako laughs and follows him up the stairs.

I help clear the table while Dojima seethes a little. "Why's he always touching her?" he grumbles. As mentioned earlier, I figured this would be a problem as they aged. This is the first time Dojima’s directly mentioned it to me, but I suppose I was right to bring it up.

"I dunno," I venture. "Maybe it's an American thing?"

Dojima shoots me a withering glare. "Enough of that already!” He snaps. I jump a little. “I'm not a moron. I know he's not American."

News to me—That he knew. "What, ah, makes you say that?" I ask.

He's looking at me like I have five heads. "He doesn't even speak English, for crying out loud!"

I have to laugh at that because it's true.

"So I don't know where he came from, or if someone just abandoned him outside of town or what, but he's odd. You can't say he isn't." I nod because I have to agree.

"I like him, though," I confide.

"Oh he's not a bad kid," Dojima backpedals. "He's just not a hundred percent there." I feel myself laughing again. "It was nice of the Hanamuras to take him in, and then you and your mother after their boy moved away."

"Oh," I'm caught a little off guard. "Thanks." I smile. "He does help out with work and all..."

Dojima rolls his eyes. "I know damn well he doesn't work. He probably just pesters you all day—Be honest."

I nod slowly. "He's fun though. I don't mind."

"I just wish he'd stop hanging all over my daughter," Dojima sighs.

I make a noncommittal grunt and sit down at the table to wait while the man washes the dishes.

He finally dries his hands and reaches for something in the fridge. A six-pack. He places the cans in front of me.

"Uh?" I ask. “You waste no time."

"Hmm?" Dojima asks, his head back in the fridge. He turns around with a second six-pack. "That's all yours."

"That's nice and all, but..."

He shrugs and pops one open. "Cheaper than therapy."

_Well that's sad but true._

"...Yeah." I take a swig. "So?"

"First question. I believe I already know what you're going to ask." Dojima looks me in the eye. "I can't help that I love him."

_Telling it like it is. That's why I respect Dojima. But..._

"But why?" I have to ask. "Adachi's not a good person. What is it about him? Does he even have good qualities?"

"Let's see..." Dojima thinks, already crushing his first can and reaching for a second. "Well he's manipulative, jealous, needy, and petulant."

I wait, taking another sip of the beer.

"Next question?" he abruptly follows.

I can feel my face scrunch up. "That doesn't answer the last one... I said _good_ qualities, Ojisan."

"Hoo..." Dojima sighs. "He's funny?"

I nod. _And? Cause he's an idiot?_

"Isn't it more that you're laughing at him, though?"

"No," Dojima forcefully proclaims. "No. He does it on purpose.” He tips his can towards me. “That's the manipulativeness."

Now I'm really lost. I throw up a hand in a "what" gesture. “Am I supposed to be able to follow this?” I ask. “Or are you practicing a monologue.”

"Ha ha.” Neither of us really laughs. “Alright. You know how he always used to get my coffee, right?" I nod. "He'd make it wrong on purpose most of the time so I'd send him to the bakery or Junes or something." He finishes another can and shoots it at the bin with a grunted "fucking slacker".

"Really?" I ask. "I wouldn't put it past him, but he did that a lot."

"Yes really." Dojima rolls his eyes. "He told me. For my first few 'visits' I mostly sat there and took a ration of shit. I guess I did give him a lot of shit myself, when we were working together, but..."

I ain't touching that. I shake my head, not arguing. "Okay, I guess."

Dojima looks down, frowning. "He makes me feel needed, alright." It comes out quieter, almost a whisper.

I shake my head. "I just don't get how someone nice and all like you could—you know—actually like someone like Adachi."

"I'm no saint, Kanji," Dojima counters. "I've done my fair share of crappy things.  _This_  is probably a crappy thing. But I'm already in it and I can't go back to being without him. Without  _Tohru_ —” His says Adachi's first name with such feeling, his voice cracking at the end. I had lost count, but I guess four beers equals crying.

I shift in my chair. _There isn't anything you can say._

"It was a night like tonight. We all ate dinner together—It was after the second murder." Dojima pauses and drinks maybe half of the fifth beer. "We'd been working together for over two months and I knew I was being hard on him, but I didn't know how to fix that. I did it because he acted so clueless, like he needed ordering around. I didn't wanna see him fuck up like whatever got him sent here in the first place—And he didn't really seem to mind. You know he’d joke about it..."

"But whenever we drank, he..." Dojima turns redder than just from the alcohol. "He was clingy and touchy, alright?” He coughs, looking ashamed to be talking about this, but I feel like part of him also wants to unload this baggage. “And I didn't _really_ mind—So of course I told him to get the hell off of me. You know how I am.” He grumbles and shakes his head. “That night I got up to go to bed and he was being so whiny—Which always gets me. And—And yeah. That's probably when it started."

I open a second can, trying to be unobtrusive. Dojima starts on the sixth. “Nobody needed me. Nobody knew how to deal with me after Chisato. I didn't think I'd ever be accepted back as one of the ‘normal people’, and here comes this clown who doesn't care to fit in.”

Dojima sucks in a deep breath. It's like watching a train wreck: there's all this stuff I wasn't around for, before I knew everyone, but I know it all ends with a bang.

“He—He acts all needy, and shit—” He frowns, a different look passing over his face. “He likes being ordered around and that's the only control I feel over my life and then… And then…” Dojima crushes the can. Now there's a look washing over his face I've never seen before. I'd be curious if it weren't so terrifying in its intensity: I don't know if it's anger or love or betrayal or lust or hate or some weird combination.

_And I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to decipher an emotion so complex._

So I simply sit really still to see if he'll keep talking.

Dojima takes out a cigarette but doesn't light it. He just sticks the end in his mouth and chews on it, like he's never seen something so foreign. He stubs out the fire that wasn't there, and flicks it into an ashtray.

The man huffs out a big sigh. “Kanji.”

The rational Dojima is back. He sets the mangled can on the table. “I screwed up. Even though I acted like I knew what I was doing, acted like the smart one, I was the ‘boke’ all along.”

Dojima puts his face in his hand. “I thought he could save me. I _wanted_ Tohru to string me along. I didn't deserve to move on, but he—” He breaks off again, collecting his thoughts. “So I let him set this dangerous, breakneck pace even though I knew we were headed off the tracks. I needed someone, anyone, to accept all my worthlessness. I thought it'd end eventually when Tohru got fed up with Inaba and moved away. Maybe after that I'd be alive enough to start over.”

We sit in silence for a few minutes. Dojima lights up and I go back over what we talked about in my head. _It's a lot to take in._

Dojima finally stands, skidding his chair back. “Well, I'm out of beer. That's all you're getting out of me.” He tries a smile and cleans up the stray cans. “Just remember everyone’s got their own side of the story. I still don't understand all the white noise you kids tried to put in my head about going into televisions, but I'll chalk that up to you having your own secrets.” I snort. _Can't hide the truth._

"Yeah, I do gotta get home," I tell him. I promised Nanako that tomorrow we would make a secret prison run.  _I really hope he doesn't kill me for taking her out of school._ I pad over to the stairs and call Teddie.

He and Nanako are all noise clomping down to the living area. I say goodbye to her and pass him the keys.

Dojima's already moved to the couch to turn on the evening news. He waves to us silently.

I slip into my shoes while Teddie grabs his and runs to the car barefoot, yakking on and on about some new drama they were watching. I shake my head as I climb into the passenger's side. I yawn and trust the Bear to handle the rest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Re-Edited 6/7/17


	6. Such a Little Thing Makes Such a Big Difference (Tohru)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adachi gets a visit from Nanako and Kanji, where they discuss the facts and strategies for keeping future shadows out of Inaba. Then he gets a phone call, prompting him to recollect the how he and Dojima got together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my favorite chapter!! We get more facts on several subjects. The title is from a Morrissey song of the same name. It's a biting, pining song that just makes me "Adachi", like he's a verb or something. Like the song is him arguing against himself and the world at the same time.  
> Moving along... His flashback isn't how I originally wrote it, I ended up changing it to make it more screwed up. But I like it! I think it works well and couldn't bring myself to change it back. It originally had a more upbeat vibe and he didn't--Well you'll see.  
> Tomorrow is the conclusion!!

Chapter Six: Such a Little Thing Makes Such a Big Difference

(Tohru)

They said I have a visitor, but it's not a Friday...

_Is it Dojima? Did one of the kids come back to harass me about getting out? That could be fun._

I wait my turn to greet whoever it is, and feel a jolt when I catch sight of Nanako and Kanji. I comb my hair over my eyes so the punk can't see— _It'll be more fun if it's a surprise for him._

"Adachi," one of the guards motions me over.

"I'll see them," I say. We're directed to an empty table.

I wave at the unexpected guests. "Hi Nanako," I try lightly. She smiles. _That's a relief._

I don't know what they're here for, so I raise my eyebrows at Kanji. _I'm so close to leaving this dump._

The boy frowns. Like I give a crap.

Breaking the silence, Nanako speaks up. "Adachi-san," she starts. I hope it's something easy. I don't think she trusts me anymore, but I can't blame her. "I wanted to talk to you alone."

I nod. "Okay. I can do that." I tent my hands on the table and wait.

"First, I want to show Kanji that thing I can do," Nanako leans forward.

_So she told them. Dammit I didn't want the other kids to know... That was my ace._

"Kanji," I finally turn to him. "Are you good with pain?" I can feel a smirk.

"Aah, what?" he nervously asks.

I point to the table. "Break your finger so she can fix it. I already did this." I can feel myself baring my teeth so I close my mouth.

Nanako looks at him expectantly. I hold in a snicker. _He looks so panicked!_

"Wh-what?" the no-longer-blond asks. "She said  _you'd_  show me!" He leans forward, apparently afraid of the plunge.

_I'll show him! I'll show him I trust Nanako..._

I trust her  _more_.

Under the table so the guards can't see, I bend a finger against the metal until I feel bone snap. I feel my face twist into only a slight grimace, barely feeling it. "Don't react," I tell the punk. "Don't draw attention." Kanji looks doubtful I even broke it, but when I slide my left hand back on top of the table, the pinky is clearly pointing outside. There's not much blood, thankfully, just the beginnings of a splotchy bruise.

Kanji looks nauseous, but Nanako seems fine. She places her right hand on the table, palm down, pointing at me. When she concentrates, I can see a persona overlap with her form. It's something powerful— _I can feel it_ —with large blue ears and wings. Light engulfs my hand, and the finger's back where it belongs. Kanji's jaw drops.

"Good as new~" I grin at her. "Did you see it that time? Could you tell who it was?" I ask, curious. Nanako shakes her head 'no'. "Did you see it?" I try Kanji. "Or are you useless?"

Nanako glances at Kanji—She didn't like that. I set my mouth into a line, trying to keep quiet.

"See what?" Kanji asks.

"She summoned a persona, idiot. I can see it, but I don't know what it is." _Well that one just slipped._

He frowns, folding his arms. "I didn't see it."

Maybe she isn't fully awakened. "How many times have you used it now, Nana?" I ask.

She counts aloud. "Only those three times with you."

I shrug. "Maybe you'll see it after you use it more."

"No. _No no no!_ " Kanji interrupts. "Don't make it manifest more. It's a burden." He ruffles his hair, getting angry.

"Look," I growl. They pay attention. "You're gonna need all the help you can get. Kanji. You and the others need to seal off Magatsu-Inaba."

Kanji's eyes narrow like he's thinking. "What?"

"I thought about it, and you should seal off the other side. I couldn't, and it should get done."

Nanako looks back and forth between us, confused.

"You do it," Kanji brushes me off.

"If you recall," I start, ready to lay into him. "I got taken out in a stretcher. I couldn't. And I don't care either way—I can take care of myself. But your little Investigation Team may want to prevent more shadows from coming out." He just stares, uncomprehending.

I roll my eyes and draw the conclusion for him. " _You can do that by sealing it off._ " Still staring. I groan, slapping the table. "How many of you have personas in Inaba?"

He counts on his hand. "Me, Ted, Yukiko. Three."

"I'm four and Nanako makes five. that's a lot. I probably count more than just one, too. So—"

"Why?" The big oaf cocks his head like an idiot.

 _Ugh._ I comb my longer hair away and he yelps, jumping out of his chair. The thing clatters to the floor in a metallic cacophony.

"I don't have time to explain this now. Pay attention!" This is never going to get through to him. I change tactics. "Nanako, please explain this to someone with brains." Kanji rolls his eyes. "I never had a shadow. It's still a part of me..."

I scratch my head and sigh, then try again. "Okay. Nanako, you probably don't understand this, so just remember it for me. I think I'm part shadow or something. I don't really know yet… You need to seal off the other world that I made. Or more things can come out of it. Preferably find the same TV." She looks pretty lost, but started taking notes on her phone. _That's good._

"Like Ted!" Kanji interrupts, looking like he’s just made a connection.

I stop. "What?" I don’t know much about that one.

"Uuh," he backpedals. "Teddie was born from shadows. He grew a body. Now he's human."

I can feel myself squinting at the stupidity. "Well that makes a lot of sense."

"No!" he protests. "It's true... And hey! Are you killing people here with shadows? I heard some stuff about you that doesn't line up—”

Nanako tugs on his sleeve—She’s nervously glancing at the clock. We have less than five minutes all of a sudden and now she's motioning that she has a question.

"What?" I rush, trying to stay patient. _This is kind of important. They can clean up their own mess._

"Do you love Dad?"

"Yes."

_Wait what?_

I try again, groaning. "Wait what?"

"Nothing," she shakes her head.

_Fucking..._

_She tricked me!_

I grit my teeth, wondering if it’s possible to make them crack.

Nanako smiles. She _knows_ it.

_She knows she tricked me._

"Uuh, Adachi..." Kanji starts.

"What?" I snap. The patience is _so_ gone.

Nanako giggles.

Kanji edges closer to her. "Why do you look like you're gonna hit  _me_  though?"

_I'd love to hit him._

The buzzer rings.

They stand up. Nanako pats Kanji on the back and darts over to put an arm around my shoulders before he can stop her. "Thanks. I feel better now."

"Why?" I ask, dumbfounded.

"I saw  _you_  for a minute." Nanako waves as her large bodyguard grabs her hand and guides her to the exit. Kanji looks back and I draw a finger across my throat. He just shakes his head and they're gone.

_He's probably okay. Safer than Narukami._

\---***---

"Phone call," a guard bangs on the bars outside my cell.

I stand and stretch. _Busy day._

"Someone's popular," he mocks, unlocking the door.

I keep my mouth sealed.  _Just leave me alone so this day will pass._

It's a long trudge to the phone bank.

_I just hope it's Dojima and not another fucking kid. I've had enough of them for now. Forever._

"...Yeah?" I sigh out my nose.

"Tohru." The way Dojima says it sounds like a good luck charm. I almost like it.

I snap my face back into a frown before it sports something more emotive.

"What?" I ask, feigning boredom. _Don't want the guards seeing me chummy with my cop friend. They gave me shit after my last outburst about being disrespectful and gross. They won’t do anything, but if I am getting out, I should try. Fucking pain._

"Less than twenty-four hours," he breathes. _He sounds like a little kid._ It'd be funnier if I weren't so uptight here. Even the other prisoners have been getting bolder since they've heard I'm getting out.

_I don't like it._

Dojima babbles on, telling me about buying sushi and the room, and some phone he had Nanako get me. My head’s throbbing and I want to smash something. People are talking at other phones and there's too much going on at once. I feel like so much of the noise in my head would quiet just going back there.

_It's so nice in that house._

_I wish it could be mine..._

_Will I ever feel like I belong there?_

I clutch my head and try to think safe thoughts…

_Don’t explode._

_One night._..

_When did it start...?_

I listen to Dojima ramble while I try to remember...

I guess I always liked him. Dojima looked like he knew what he was doing. After I fucked up and got sent to the sticks, I didn't want  to think anymore. It was over anyways.

And then I was lonely. And I knew  _he_  was so fucking lonely.

And I guess I took advantage of that.

I loved getting invited over, like I was special. And Nanako acted like it was fucking Christmas, just having someone give her attention, and it was a cycle. I'd do whatever I needed to so I could spend my evenings there. Not alone—But with people who were interested in me.

Then—much too soon—freaking Narukami came. And it was all about him, him, him. ‘ _Nephew this_ ,’ and ‘ _we're going to do that,’_ and ‘ _there isn’t enough time_ ,’ and there were fewer and fewer invitations.

And being over there, by myself, in my shitty apartment, eating instant noodles by myself and sleeping out of boredom, I knew I needed the other life back. I needed Dojima to pay attention to me again— _I wanted it so bad and it pissed me off._

I  _needed_  it!

The part of me that makes the bad decisions kept telling me to sit closer to him, lean on him, fall asleep on him. Flaunt what you can get away with.

 _If he lets you_ , that part said,  _keep doing it. He won't let you get that far. He's not stupid. He's lonely and weak but he'd never want_ you _._

But it was so _easy_.

One night, drinking in the living room, I whine at him to stay with me instead of just tossing me a blanket and going upstairs—And he does.

He bitches and moans, but he retraces his steps back out to the tatami room. I pull him back down to the floor and hold him to me.  _You're drunk,_  the bad part of me says.  _Just do it. Blame being drunk._

"Lemme go," Dojima grumbles. "Go the hell to sleep Adachi." He doesn't move away, though, just curls up and goes limp, trying to fall asleep himself.

_Yeah, sleep like this. I'm sure it'll paint a perfectly normal picture when the kids come downstairs._

Well I'm already holding him; I just have to put my hands lower— _Is he even still awake?_

_...Yup._

"Hey. Woah— _No_." Dojima shakes his head, startled. He's so close and I can't stand it!

I can feel him and smell him and it has to be now. Or I'll lose my nerve again.

"Why?" I groan. I want to scream, not whine. But I need to be patient.

_Which is hard._

I know I'm awful—But you like me at least a little. Or you wouldn't invite me over—

_Right?_

I want to put my head through a window! If he doesn't answer me I'll just say fuck it and pretend I fell asleep.

"You're my kouhai. Go the fuck to sleep Adachi."

_So fucking like him._

He tries to roll away, but I don't let go.

"Not cause we're both men?" I don't realize I've even said it until it's out of my mouth. "Oh—Uhh—"

I let Dojima push me off him this time, and he rolls over to look at me. "Look, that's not really it okay? You don't want to do this. You can't take it back," he finishes with a yawn and leans back on his arms. "So go to sleep and I'll forget it happened."

_Yeah. Magnanimous of you._

Sounds like a  _great_  deal.

_Because I'd be the loser in your warped mind, right?_

_Me—The gross murderer._

_Me—Who no one wants._

I can't help laughing. It probably doesn't sound sane. It’s probably the shaky laughter.

It's the crazy that responds aloud. "I don't want to forget it happened. I want _you_."

That gets his attention, but he doesn't say anything right away.

Dojima squints at me. "You're not drunk?"

Not nearly enough, I'm learning. I shake my head tentatively.

"Alright, c'mere," Dojima sighs. "Don't expect much." He laughs coldly at himself.

_Oh I never do..._

Well I guess I started this. And I got this far, so I lean over to kiss him, still kind of unsure.

But when our lips meet, rough and awkward, it's not just me putting feeling into it. Part of me is surprised, the other part is sunk—In a good way. _In a bad way._ He was right, I can't be taking this back—But instead of regret, it will be because I don't want to lose this feeling ever again.

I fumble with some of Dojima’s shirt buttons then give up. I barely notice what I'm doing, lost in his eyes and only able to focus acutely on his reactions: the heavy breathing and grunts and the way his arms wrap around me like I'm needed. Like he won't ever let go. And I've got one arm wrapped around his back and the other down—

" _Ow!_ " It comes it as a stifled hiss.

"Huh?" I startle, stopping.

He shakes his head and grips my back so I start touching him again. Paying more attention now, I realize I bit him—Hard, at the base of the neck.

_Shit. I hope there isn't blood—_

Fuck it I'll worry about that later, cause now he's reaching for me, and I really didn't expect that and—

 _Out of control_ —

 _On my_ —

 _Can't breathe_ —

 _Can't_ —

Can't think.

Can't think.

Can't think.

Can't think.

_I still don’t know what the hell happened next._

When I come back to myself, Dojima's holding me up, looking anxious.

"Wh-what'd I do?" I slur.

Dojima comes into focus, shaking his head. "I think you passed out!" he whispers, louder than seems necessary.

My eyes wheel around, taking stock.

_Looks like I punched him or something._

_Welts on his chest…_

_The light feels like needles in my brain._

He's breathing heavy, leaning too close to me. "God are you okay?"

_That's what I’d like to ask. You look like shit—_

_What'd I do?_

My head hurts…

_Fucking shitty idea, Tohru._

He keeps staring, looking genuinely concerned. He's got his eyebrows knit together, and he's frowning, and the whole show.

_Huh. Can’t be worried about me..._

_Am I dying?_

"Come on." Dojima stands up and pulls me with him _._

_Now what?_

_He's still frowning—Is he seriously kicking me out?!_

He must have read my face because he roughly calls me a moron and just tugs me in the direction of the stairs with him.

I've never been upstairs and I'd be more interested if I didn't feel so damn loopy. We go in the room at the end of the hall, and it's his. Another Japanese-style with tatami. All it's got is a double futon and two dressers. Not much different from my own decorating.

I'm dragged to the futon and Dojima tells me to sit and then he says to give him my clothes.

I’m sorry,  _but what the fuck_?

I stare blankly until he impatiently points for me to look down. My pants are still open and I didn't even know I finished. _Guess I missed all that, too. This would be embarrassing if I still gave a shit._

He takes everything and leaves the room. _I'm beat._

I curl up under the covers in just my dress shirt and say fuck it. I'll figure out what to do in the morning. My head's ringing—loud and shrill. This  _was_  a shitty idea after all. He's only being so nice because he thought I was having a heart attack or a stroke or something.

I unclench my teeth when I hear the door slide open again.

"Adachi?" _Tentatively. Unsure._

I grunt, almost asleep. "You want something to wear?"

_No. I just want you to shut the fuck up and show me it's okay. That you didn't just bring me up here to hide my body in case I don't wake up._

After a too-long silence, I can hear Dojima sigh again. Then the rustle of clothes, and the last thing I feel is him getting settled under the covers too, leaning over and draping an arm awkwardly around me. I release the breath I didn’t realize I was holding. My tension drops and I'm asleep.

When I wake up again, I have no idea what time it is. I yawn and roll over, forgetting I'm not at home. _It smells like I'm sleeping in a fucking ashtray._

It's a jolt to my system, realizing I'm still at Dojima's. I bolt upright, wondering how this will all play out. There's a little light coming in through the glass door on the other end of the room, but I can hear rain.

_Morning rain is the worst; can't tell if it's day or not._

In no rush to figure this out, I roll over on my other side, wondering where Dojima went. I can't hear movement or voices downstairs.

There is a tee-shirt and a pair of sweats folded next to the futon, my cell and lighter on top.

_Right... Right._

I slide out of my shirt and put them on. _Well I guess he's not mad at me... That's a plus._

I yawn and check the time. It's a little after five-thirty.

_Nope._

I shut the phone and lay back down.

_Well, I got what I wanted. And it looks like I'm being taken seriously…_

_Huh. I didn't think it'd be nearly this easy. Maybe Dojima's lonelier than I thought._

After a while I hear the old door slide open and I get nervous.

_Idiot!_

_I could slap myself..._

I seethe.  _Get it together and get in control  of the situation._

...I smell coffee. I fucking hate coffee.

_If I hear "Adachi go get me a coffee!" one more time ever I'm pushing Dojima into a TV. No regrats._

There's a small bump next to my head, and the click of a lamp. I lie still, not wanting to deal with the situation. Then I feel a larger _WHUMP_ when Dojima sits down next to me.

"I know you're awake, Adachi.”

_Oh._

“You do know we’re detectives, right?”

_True. Sarcastic bastard._

I open my eyes. I can see Dojima lighting a cigarette with my lighter. I haven't seen him light his own cigarette since I moved here _. I guess that one's on me for buying the lighter, but..._

“You bought this for me, didn’t you?”

_No sense denying it. I don’t smoke._

_But I’m not doing this._

"Do you always get up this early, Sir?" I ask, changing the subject.

Dojima grimaces. "Don't call me that now!" He flicks the lighter shut and replaces it.

_Well now I want to._

_Mental_ _note_ :  _Slip up at a bad time._

It's too early to process this. And I can feel that's what's coming. I close my eyes again.

"Don't do that," Dojima complains. _Ugh._

"There's coffee—" He gestures to my other side.

_Yay. Great._

"Thanks!" I muster a smile.  _Kill me!_

That got him. Must've been too sarcastic. Or too smiley. Dojima looks away, coughing. "At least look at it. I put cream and sugar in it. I know it's not your favorite but it's all we have."

_Is there a problem with the public water I’m not aware of?_

"Nanako drinks it like that, so I thought..." _That sounds like child abuse. She's six._

As a bonus he looks embarrassed.

I sit up and pick up the mug against my better judgment. I have a few sips. That is lot of sugar— _It's actually not bad this way._

"I couldn't sleep," Dojima yawns. "I didn't drain the tub yet if you want to take a bath or something." This is weirder and feels more normal than I expected. Like Dojima knew we were headed down this trajectory and it was just a matter of time.

Did  _I_  get played?

I shake my head. "I want to go back to sleep..." It's half a mumble, half a whine.

"You can see I couldn't hang the clothes—"

_He's still talking. Ooh, did he ever talk this much? Shut up so I can sleep! I drank your awful coffee!_

" _Doooojimaaaa!_ " I whine. I roll on my stomach and clamp the pillow over my head. "Shut up," I plead. "It's not even six."

“…”

_Ahh! He mumbled something else but I couldn't hear it._

I take the pillow off. It was either a swear or something he didn't want me to hear.

"What?" I ask.

He says it so quiet, I can still barely make it out. "Ryou." He's looking away again, too.

 _Play stupid._ "What's that?"

"My name!" Dojima grumbles and turns toward me. He crushes his cigarette in an ashtray. "If you're okay with it, then I wanted you to call me my first name," he tries to explain himself in a muttery, sheepish manner. "Ryoutarou is long. So Ryou is alright..." he trails off and clenches his teeth. He dramatically twists his mouth, trying to say something else. "T-toh-tohru," he concludes.

_“F” for effort._

_That's so adorable. It makes my skin crawl._

He's all red, from the top of his face, down his neck and probably beyond. I clamp my teeth down on a snicker. Bite my tongue. "Okay sir!" I enthusiastically reply.

"Dammit Adachi!"

_Pause._

_He'll realize in a—_

"Dammit!!" Dojima jumps up and rakes a hand through his short hair.

"I'm going back to sleep... It's Sunday..."

Dojima collects the mugs and walks back to the door. "I'm going to get the paper and more coffee."

I hold up a hand and weakly wave.

_Please don't bring me any. Special treat—I'll beg._

_Or don’t come back. It’s peaceful with just the rain._

_And please stop being a morning person._

...

"...Tohru?!" I can hear Dojima impatiently yelling through the phone. I snap myself out of the memory and pay attention. _I'll be back there tomorrow. I'll take a shitty coffee and I’ll drink it and I'll even fucking smile._

"What?" I ask. "Sorry, tired."

"Why?" he asks sharply. "Anybody giving you shit about getting out?"

 _Duh, _Detective__.

"No," I yawn. _I can't sleep in this place._ "It's fine. I'll see you tomorrow."

Dojima is silent. "Sorry I didn't come today, but I have to get everything ready. And now the kids are coming over..."

_Do they have to?_

"That's... Nice."  _Turn them away._

I hear a long sigh. _He knows._ "I'm not turning them away, but I told them not to stay long."

"Mmhmm."

"Alright. I'm going to go. I'll see you tomorrow. In person." Dojima hesitates and I know he's going to say it. I can see him sitting upstairs by himself, chain-smoking in that quiet room and looking both lost and troubled. Like he used to when he thought I was asleep next to him. "I love you."

I  _need_  you. I  _want_  you. I want this to be  _over_. I  _do_  love you.

_Just stay mine._

I choose the easiest words to get out. "Me too," I mumble.

I hang up the phone and am escorted back to my cell.

\---***---

"Adachi Tohru," I hear. I'm not really asleep. Just groggy from being awake all night. "Adachi Tohru!" They're louder this time.

"Do you want to leave or not?"

_Right..._

_Right!!_

I practically jump off the bed. I wait for them to open the door and walk me to the front of the prison. Where the visitors come in. And—more importantly—get to  _leave_.

I get a few different lectures and sign some papers and am handed the clothes I came in with...

 _Five years ago_.

They won't fucking fit, but I put them on and accept the small plastic bag that holds…

 _My tie_. The one Dojima bought me during my first week in Inaba.

 _My lighter that I always lit his cigarettes with_.

My ratty belt. I'll have to tie it: the holes are useless now.

A couple of coins.

My wallet with my license.

I root around, tumbling the kaleidoscope of items twirling round and round, searching for...

My hands close around  _keys_. Dojima already took and returned the keys to my old place.

Just  _his_ keys left on the ring.

I put the tie around my neck, but grimace at the restrictive feeling and peel it back off. I put the keys and lighter in my pocket, and loop my fingers through the handles of the bag, letting the rest of the stuff rattle around. I follow a guard to a van outside. I get in the back and watch as this nightmare ends.

The gates open when we approach. And the van glides through like I'm free.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Re-Redited 6/7/17


	7. Reach out to the Truth (Nanako)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The conclusion to "Okaeri"! Nanako has a chat with Teddie about the changes in herself and then welcomes Adachi back to their house... And family?!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for coming this far with me!! I truly appreciate your reading. :) If you have the time, I would appreciate any feedback, especially about characterization and what did or did not work well. What would you like to see in the second part?  
> I've been writing Part II, but I need another week, so I would love to incorporate any interesting ideas~ I hope too see you return for more drama, actual action with the others, and even some cute parts! I CAN Liz Lemon this. I can HAVE IT ALL!!!  
> Doumo Arigatou!!! *deep bow*

Chapter Seven: Reach out to the Truth

(Nanako)

_Dad's been up all night._

I know immediately when I arrive downstairs by the empty coffeepot in the sink and the way he whips his head up from the book he wasn't really reading. I smile.

"Morning, Nanako," he yawns at me.

"G'morning," I return. I serve myself some rice and soup and head to the table. He crawls off the couch and turns on the TV. "What time?" I ask.

"I don't know," Dad starts, anxious. "They're never on time, but they did tell me noon."

 _I nod. Five more hours of Twitchy Over-Caffeinated Dad…_ At least Kanji and Teddie will be here early.

After I eat I ascend the stairs again to change. When I close my door, I stop. I turn to the other, empty room, and I decide to take a peek.

I helped Dad set everything up last weekend and it looks the same. There's the old couch and table that were there even before Big Bro. Additions include Adachi's giant TV and more video games than I thought an adult would own. A lamp and a big pile of manga. Snacks and soda lined up on the table...

I feel the You’re-an-Idiot face coming on. Dad says it’s one of the few things that prove to everyone I’m actually his kid.

_Is this really all for a grown-up?_

And then there’s the futon laid neatly on the floor. I have to roll my eyes at that. I don't think it'll take Adachi more than a day to convince Dad it'd be better for him to sleep in his room. He's super clingy. Like that one friend everyone always has to assure is their  _best_  friend, or they’ll go berserk.

I tricked Adachi yesterday because I want him to know I have his number. He should know I can. I'm smarter than he probably thinks I am, and I do like him—maybe even love him—but we're not going through hell again. _I'd better keep Crazy on his best behavior._

I shut the door and go back downstairs. Dad can't sit still. I know he washed all the dishes and is brewing more coffee. I can hear the grinder whirring away.

I take the puzzle page out of the paper to work on until the others arrive.

Soon enough Teddie bangs through the door, carrying bags of stuff Dad asked for. “Nana-chan!!! It’s a party!!” His eyes are sparkling and I have to let out a big laugh. He always cuts the tension!

I can hear Dad groaning, which just makes me laugh more. “Here,” I tell Teddie. “Pass me the bags and go watch TV.” He drops them where he stands and rushes to the counter, and—oddly enough—he starts to make tea.

“No, I’ll help,” he cheerily tells me.

I nod at the contradiction and go pick up the bags to put everything away. Kanji bumps through the screen shortly after, carrying drinks. “’Sup?” he asks. I point at Teddie busily measuring water and tealeaves. “No shit,” he snorts, putting his load down on the table. “I told him to be good. Maybe it sunk in…”

I smirk. “You’re like his father,” I joke.

Kanji turns red. “N-n-no!” he yelps. “My kid would behave way better!”

Teddie glares, but continues his unasked task.

When the tea is finally ready, Teddie pours two cups and practically drags me out the back door. I can feel the other two staring at our backs, but choose to ignore it—I’m sure he won’t even notice. Teddie quickly slides the door shut with a loud bang and I see Dad glaring.

_…He’ll get over it._

Teddie’s clingy, but in a less oppressive way than Adachi. I’ve noticed it more recently. I’m not sure if I should say anything to the pleasantly smiling boy sitting on the stoop, staring up at me with absolute adoration.

But if I don’t address it, the others will continue to feel uncomfortable. I clear my throat. “What’s been going on lately?” I finally ask.

Teddie doesn’t look up, just smiles wider. “I can sense it,” he says quietly.

“What?” I ask, bending to squat in front of him. “What is it?”

“You have the power now, too—I can tell. It feels like home.” He looks up and his face is almost a little afraid… _Of what?_

I gasp, nodding. “Only recently! I can heal people.”

Teddie nods understandingly, then freezes. “Does it bother you that I’ve been hanging around a lot more?” All of a sudden there’s an overwhelming insecurity in his eyes.

“Oh!” I breathe. “No!!” I rush to reassure him, but his eyes have already slid back to the ground.

“Sorry,” he mumbles. “It just feels so comfortable around you.”

“It’s okay,” I try again.

He forces a smile, but then I see more concern flash across his face. “It’s different than with the others.” He cocks his head, as if listening for something. “I don’t know why, though.”

“We’ll figure it out,” I reply, sipping my own tea. It’s pretty good. “You might notice something different about Adachi-san, too,” I slip. He nods eagerly. “Did Kanji tell you about his eyes?

Teddie nods quickly. “He told me to ask him about it later.” The tall boy jumps up. “I’m always excited to learn more about how it all works!” I laugh a little, glad to know about what was going on with my friend.

I peek through the door to see Big Bro and Yukiko. I point behind Teddie and ask if he wants to go in. He sets down his cup and stretches. “In a minute,” he tells me. “I feel like it won’t be calm around here for much longer.

“Really?” I ask.

“Oh!!” He jumps up, flinging his arms around. “I could be wrong! Just between us, okay?!” He holds a finger up to his lips, grinning. “Please?” he begs. “Don’t tell Kanji I said that, okay?”

I nod and we sit again, chatting until we’re out of tea.

When we walk back in, the other four are chatting and sipping at cans of soda, seeming at ease around each other. I’m happy that hasn’t changed, at least.

A little after noon, the phone trills. Dad practically lunges for it, almost kicking Kanji over. “Jeez, Ojisan!!” he yips, edging away. Yuki snickers and Kanji rolls his eyes. They start to bicker until Teddie jumps in to ease the mood.

I smile at Yuu-kun, who looks moody today. I walk over and give his hand a squeeze. That’s all I have time for before the atmosphere grinds to a halt.

Dad hangs up the phone and strides the few steps to the door. The others stop talking and watch him slip outside. I don't want to get in the way, really, so I stand behind the screen. I hear Teddie jump up off the floor, but know someone stopped him from following me. He lets out a whine but stays put.

A big van is idling on the other side of our street. Dad leans in to talk to the driver for a minute, and then the door slides open. Adachi steps down, looking completely shell-shocked. His eyes are wide, clothes too big; he’s just peering around like he’s never seen our neighborhood before. I would laugh if it weren't so sad. It's like when he first came over for dinner—he had looked so vulnerable to be invited to a stranger’s house.

Dad pulls away from the window, grinning. He takes a heavy-looking case from the van and then grabs the bag Adachi's holding, lastly sliding his own hand into the smaller one. The van pulls away and Dad starts talking quickly, saying who-knows-what. I would wave, but I don't think Adachi even sees me behind the door. It's not far, but he doesn't take even a step. Adachi just collapses on the ground, sobbing.

I watch as Dad balks, frozen for a minute before he kneels down to talk to him quietly. He tries to pull Adachi's hand back, off of his face, but the other man won't let him. I can hear the crying and am sure the others can too.

Dad looks so helpless and confused. He was so sure this was going to be a great reunion. He puts his free arm around Adachi, lost. His searching eyes meet mine, pleading for an answer.

_I don't have the answers._

_But I'm willing to try and help._

I walk outside and right up to the two of them. Adachi's saying something unintelligible... I bend down and can hear the words a little. I think he's apologizing— _Over and over and over._

I try pulling one of his hands away and he lets me. He's still muttering, speaking so quickly. One sharp yellow eye connects with my brown ones.

I try to smile. "It's over. It's okay; it's over."

He vehemently shakes his head.

I try again. "I'm here. _I'm okay._ " I don't know how I understand in that moment, but I suddenly get it on a visceral level. _I get that it's about me._

I feel Dad's eyes on me now, curious about our exchange.

The situation feels too tenuous to stop and explain. I move to the side, clutching Adachi's left hand in my right. I motion for Dad to take the other one back, and then I squeeze the one I hold to remind him he needs to stand.

He stands, still shaking and giving off hiccupping little cries. I start our tiny parade moving back across the street. The others have spilled out into the yard, but they let us pass by and into the house.

I stop at the table by the door and point to the new hook Dad installed, where I printed the characters for "Tohru" above. Adachi drops Dad's hand to fish the keys out of his pocket and hang them.

"Okaeri," I say, smiling as brightly as I can.

Adachi starts crying again and bends down to wrap me up in a big hug. I hear Dad sigh in relief.

I return the hug and I can tell he's trying to come back to us, the caring Adachi I remember.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Re-Edited 6/7/17


End file.
